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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26527948">The Cons of Being Friends With A Snake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManyFandomsOneLog/pseuds/ManyFandomsOneLog'>ManyFandomsOneLog</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Janus and Logan are best friends and philosophy majors, Janus and Patton are both smooth af, Janus and Patton flirt, Logan gets flustered around Patton, Logan is in love, Logan refuses to admit that he has a huge crush on Patton, M/M, Multi, Patton is a biology major, Pick-Up Lines, This is mainly Logicality but it could very easily be read as Logicaliceit, jealous!Logan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:40:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,935</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26527948</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManyFandomsOneLog/pseuds/ManyFandomsOneLog</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan has a huge crush on Patton, but when Janus asks about it, he refuses to admit it. So, Janus flirts with Patton, just to mess with Logan.</p><p>Logan does not appreciate this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Deceit | Janus Sanders &amp; Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders, Logan/Patton/Janus, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan/Patton | Morality/Janus | Deceit/Patton | Morality</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Cons of Being Friends With A Snake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by a dream I had where Logan was jealous and in love with Patton. Featuring my college au headcanons.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Logan and Janus sat across from one another at a table in the college library. Janus was writing in a composition notebook, and Logan was reading.</p><p>They came here nearly every day to study together. They had become fast friends in freshman year of college, as they were both philosophy majors, meaning they had most of their classes together, and, in those classes, they were both the most passionate students. At the very beginning, they had held heated debates with one another, but they soon realized that ruthlessly taking apart the ideas of other students was far more enjoyable. </p><p>Now, it was their second year, and they acted like they had known each other since they were infants. The only issue that separated them were two of Logan’s dorm mates- Roman and Virgil. Apparently, they had gone to high school with Janus, and they had some sort of undying rivalry with him that they still weren’t over. The one time that Logan had invited Janus over to his dorm, it had resulted in an unhealthy amount of glaring and snide remarks from all three of his friends.</p><p>They would go to Janus’s dorm to study, except for the fact that Janus’s dorm mate, Remus, who was actually Roman’s twin, made it impossible to get any sort of work done. </p><p>So, they studied in the library.</p><p>Logan preferred it that way, to be honest. He liked the library for many different reasons. It was quiet, for one thing. And it was filled with books. And, this year, he had found another reason to like the library.</p><p>After glancing at Janus to make sure he wasn’t paying attention, Logan let his eyes drift over to the table next to them. There, wearing a white shirt with a picture of a cup of brown liquid and text that read “tea-shirt”, was Patton. </p><p>Logan had met him over winter break, while Janus was gone to visit his family. Patton had seen Logan reading a book alone, and, to Logan’s surprise, had decided to sit next to him.</p><p>“Whatcha reading?” Patton had asked.</p><p>At the time, Logan had internally rolled his eyes. He hated his reading interrupted. However, when he looked up and saw the person who had interrupted him, all irritation had melted away.</p><p>Patton had hazel eyes behind glasses that glinted in the lamplight of the library. He had light brown hair that stuck up in odd places, which, even then, Logan had found endearing. Patton had freckles dotted across his face like constellations. He had a smile that lit up the entire room.</p><p>He also had the unique ability to make Logan completely forget how to form a proper sentence.</p><p>“Uh- I- Me?” Logan had asked.</p><p>He would never forgive himself for saying something that stupid.</p><p>Patton hadn’t minded, though. Once they had established that, yes, Patton had been asking Logan, the conversation progressed from there. told Patton that the book he was reading was called History of Philosophy, and, in return, Patton had asked if philosophy was his major. When Logan said yes, Patton proceeded to make a series of philosophy-related puns so bad that Logan didn’t know whether to be horrified or impressed.</p><p>They had ended up talking several times over winter break, and the more they talked, the more infatuated Logan became. How could he not? Patton was, quite frankly, the most adorable person he had ever met.</p><p>Just then, Patton noticed Logan staring, and he smiled warmly, waving. Logan felt his cheeks heat up, and he quickly turned back to his book.</p><p>This didn’t escape Janus’s notice.</p><p>“Logan, do you have something you’d like to share with the class?” He asked.</p><p>Logan raised an eyebrow, feigning confusion, “We’re not in class, Janus, we’re studying.”</p><p>Janus rolled his eyes, “Would you mind telling me why we <em>just so happen</em> to be at the table next to Patton’s for the third week in a row?”</p><p>Logan pretended to read his book, “..Must be a coincidence.” He muttered.</p><p>“Oh, <em>right</em>, a <em>coincidence</em>. Of <em>course</em>.” Janus returned to his notes.</p><p>For a moment, Logan thought he was going to drop the subject. However, he was out of luck. After a few seconds, Janus spoke up again.</p><p>“..Would you remind me what Patton’s major is?” He asked.</p><p>Logan answered immediately, “Biology.”</p><p>“Oh, really? <em>That’s</em> surprising.”</p><p>Logan frowned, “Why is it surprising?”</p><p>Janus looked over at him, eyebrows raised, “Well, he just didn’t seem like the type.”</p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Oh.. nothing.”</p><p>“Patton is not unintelligent.”</p><p>“I didn’t say he was.”</p><p>“You implied it.”</p><p>Janus turned back to his notebook.</p><p>For a few seconds, Logan tapped his foot irritably, “He has a childish personality, but he is- figuratively- quite sharp. The other day, he was telling me about a fascinating essay that he wrote. It was on the anatomy of frogs in each stage of their development. ..It was enthralling.”</p><p>Janus smirked, “<em>Enthralling</em>, huh?” </p><p>“Yes, and-“ Logan stopped. “Hold on a moment.. this was a trick, wasn’t it? You didn’t really think that he was unintelligent.. You just wanted to get me to talk about Patton.”</p><p>“What? <em>Me? Why</em> would I <em>ever</em> do a thing like that?” Janus said, a smile playing at his lips.</p><p>Logan narrowed his eyes, “..Sometimes I seriously reconsider becoming friends with you.”</p><p>Janus laughed, “Just admit that you like him.”</p><p>“Well, of course I like him-“</p><p>“In a <em>romantic</em> way.” Janus clarified.</p><p>Logan shut his mouth. </p><p>“Well? Do you?” Janus asked after several moments of silence.</p><p>The answer was obvious; of course Logan liked Patton. </p><p>But there was no way he was telling Janus that.</p><p>“No, Janus, I don’t like Patton romantically.” Logan said.</p><p>Janus gave him a disbelieving look, “You don’t.”</p><p>“No. I mean- Yes, I don’t.”</p><p>“Okay,” Janus nodded, “Okay, so, you wouldn’t mind if I.. made a move on him?”</p><p>Logan shut his book, “If- If you what?!”</p><p>“If I made a move on him.“</p><p>“Why- Why would you-“ Logan sputtered, “Do- Do you like him that way?!”</p><p>Janus’s smirk grew, “Well, I <em>might</em>.” He said. “And if I <em>did</em> like him, and I decided to flirt with him.. that wouldn’t bother you, right? Since you don’t like him that way?”</p><p>“Well, I-“ Logan stopped. Clearly, this was another ploy to get him to admit that he had feelings for Patton. This time, he wasn’t going to fall for it, “Patton is my friend. His love life has nothing to do with me.”</p><p>Janus’s face split into a huge grin, and Logan knew he had made a mistake. That was the grin he wore just before beating Logan in chess.</p><p>“<em>Wonderful</em>.” Janus said. Then, he shut his notebook and got up.</p><p>Logan’s eyes widened, “Where are you going?!” He hissed.</p><p>Janus smirked at him, “To make a move.”</p><p>Then, he turned away. Logan stayed glued to his seat, watching in horror as Janus approached the spot where Patton was writing on a piece of paper.</p><p>Janus came to a halt right next to Patton, propping an arm up on the back of his chair. His hand brushed against Patton’s shoulder, who looked up from his work.</p><p>“Oh, hello!” He said. “Do you need something?”</p><p>Janus glanced at Logan to make sure he was watching. Then, he smiled at Patton, “Yes, actually, I do.” He said.</p><p>Patton smiled back, turning to face Janus, “How can I help you?”</p><p>“I was just wondering if you had a map?”</p><p>“A map of the campus? I think I might have one in by bag somewhere, if you’ll give me a moment..”</p><p>Patton reached towards his backpack, which looked like a green frog, but Janus beat him to it.</p><p>“Here.” Janus said, handing him the bag.</p><p>“Oh! Thank you!” Patton said with a giggle. As Janus handed the backpack over, his hands brushed against Patton’s.</p><p>As Patton began to rifle through his backpack, Janus made faces at Logan, who grit his teeth. He was beyond irritated with him.</p><p>“Here it is!” Patton said, pulling out a piece of paper that was presumably a map out from his bag. He held it out to Janus, who took it, once again making sure to brush their fingers together.</p><p>“Thank you <em>so much</em>.” Janus said. “I just <em>kept</em> getting <em>lost in your eyes</em>, so this will hopefully help.”</p><p>There was a brief silence, and Logan hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. That was <em>awful</em>. On the bright side, though, at least it meant that Janus was about to get rejected, and this whole thing would be over with. </p><p>To his surprise, Patton laughed, “Well, that’s awfully sweet!” He said.</p><p>“Not as sweet as you are.” Janus responded, quick on the uptake.</p><p>Patton laughed again, “Okay, okay, give me a second, I’ve got this.” He said. He thought for a moment, and then said, “Are you a camera? Because looking at you makes me smile!”</p><p>Logan’s jaw dropped. Janus let out a laugh of genuine surprise.</p><p>Still, though, he hardly missed a beat, “Are you a boxer? Because you’re a knockout.” He said.</p><p>“Are you a chicken? Because you’re im-<em>peck</em>-able!” Patton answered.</p><p>“Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot!” Janus retorted.</p><p>Several students shushed them, and they both laughed good-naturedly, trying not to be too loud.</p><p>Meanwhile, Logan was fuming. He was grinding his teeth so much that, pretty soon, his enamel was going to be completely gone. He had to put a stop to this.</p><p>He got up from his seat and walked over to the two of them, taking a deep breath to compose himself in front of Patton.</p><p>“Oh, hi, Logan!” Patton said.</p><p>Just like that, all of Logan’s anger melted away, immediately being replaced by the fuzzy confusion he felt around Patton.</p><p>“Uh, hello, Patton.” He said. </p><p>“Hey, Logan.” Janus said sweetly.</p><p>Okay, the anger was back.</p><p>Logan glared at Janus, not even saying anything to greet him. Instead he turned back to Patton.</p><p>“I apologize on behalf of my friend. He was just <em>trying</em> to be humorous- I hope he wasn’t bothering you too much.” Logan said.</p><p>“Oh, not at all!” Patton said. He looked at Janus, giving a smile, “I think you succeeded in being ‘humorous’.”</p><p>Logan couldn’t help but feel his heart sink a little.</p><p>Janus smiled, “Finally, someone with taste.” He said. Then, he glanced at his watch. “Unfortunately, though, I will no longer be able to grace you with my presence. I have a class to get to.”</p><p>Logan brow furrowed, “No, you don’t-“</p><p>“Goodbye, Patton.“ Janus said.</p><p>He turned to Logan and whispered, “‘Don’t like him romantically’, my ass. Don’t ever lie to my face like that again.” Then, out loud, he said, “Ta-ta, Logan!”</p><p>And he left the two of them alone.</p><p>Logan stood in stunned silence. After a while, Patton was the first to speak.</p><p>“Well!” He chuckled. “That was quite the introduction.”</p><p>Logan sighed internally, “Uh, yeah. Janus has.. a flare for the dramatic, I suppose.”</p><p>“Sounds like my friend Roman!” Patton said.</p><p>Logan raised his eyebrows, “You know Roman?”</p><p>“Yep!” Patton said.</p><p>Logan felt like he learned something new about Patton with each passing second.</p><p>“I actually do want to get this assignment done, but do you think you could help me with something first?” Patton asked.</p><p>“Uh, I can try my best to.” Logan said.</p><p>“Great! It’s my phone- I think there’s something wrong with it.”</p><p>Logan frowned. He hadn’t expected that.</p><p>“What’s wrong with it?” He asked.</p><p>Patton let out a small giggle, “It, uh- It doesn’t have your number in it?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoyed! This was just a stupid little oneshot I wrote on a whim. I didn’t put very much time into it, but one of my friends really liked it, so I figured I’d post it, just in case people on here like it, too. Thanks for reading! Have a good day!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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